Day 11

Feeling a little cruddy today. It's raining and yucky all around. Really surprised not to be missing my chocolate, but thinking that in order to really feel better and "cleansed" bigger changes have got to come soon. I'm more than half way through the 21 day experiment, so that's good and I know I'll continue on and make it the whole way through. I'm hoping from the final sense of accomplishment, I can learn and grow into bigger challenges.

Oh and yeah...the choco-free living wasn't intended to be a weight loss initiative, but part of me was hoping it would kick me back into weight loss mode. Notsomuch yet...have actually gained weight in the last 11 days. So that's sort of sad on top of my cruds and the rain today.


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Day 10

Oh fudge....

I almost caved in when Teej bought some fudge at the water park yesterday. He handed me a piece so sweetly as if he purchased it just for me. Which of course could not possibly be true, he is a 14 year old boy after all! I managed to eat a nibble of the peanut butter fudge without polluting my palate with the chocolate part.

Did I just say that chocolate might pollute my palate??? Oy, I think I'm a bit obsessed with this experiment now!

Day 9

We're off to chaperon Teej's 8th grade trip. If spending 8 hours with seventy-five 14 year olds doesn't have me diving for chocolate then I call it a success! I've packed a bag full of waters and those "healthy" snacks, so the planning is there...it's just the execution that's the challenge!

Day 8

Yesterday was a success. A day where my lack of choco-fun did not send me spiraling into the pits of food despair. I ate well. All day. When I snacked,I had healthy conscious minded snacks (even on the Oprah vegan scale). Soyjoy is starting to grow on me and I like the 100 calorie Diamond Almond pack. For dessert last night, fresh blue berries with FF coolwhip..... Victory!

Speaking of Victory...I've also decided that for the next two weeks I will forgo my beloved Golden Monkey Beer.

Guess I'm realizing that chocolate and beer do not a skinny girl make!

Day 7

I think I've actually managed to conquer the chocolate cravings this past week. Having made it through a holiday weekend without giving in, there was a small sense of accomplishment....until I stepped on the scale this morning. Replacing chocolate with lots of other refined sugar products has been fun to write about, but it has not been so fun on my waistline.

So here on day 7 of this experiment I'm not only committed to seeing the rest of these 21 days through successfully, I'm committing myself to try to make the healthiest choices I can when I'm choosing a snack or meal.

I can do this.

Day 6

Our brave men and women are remembered today with picnics, parades and celebration - and we are all proud to be American today. I'm glad we don't celebrate this day with chocolate soldiers.

We had a family outing yesterday to one of the last Drive In movie theaters left in the country. Not exactly the opportunity for healthy eating. I admit I caved to one of my favorite non-chocolate treats...the all-American funnel cake. Yummm. Seems to me that almost every culture has some variety of fried dough covered in sugar...zeppoli, donuts, biegnets, fritters, churros etc. When we lived in Maine, there was no disguising it behind some fancy name, they just call it fried dough....simple and sweet.

Anyway - happy Memorial Day. Honor those who served so that we can be free to eat fried dough, whatever you call it.

Day 5

Victory over brownies! We hosted a party last night and my dear friend (who was assigned "dessert") brought todyefor looking brownies. I can only imagine how yummy they were. But imagine I did! I succeeded in my "just say no" campaign!

This is starting to actually to be fun for me to challenge myself in the face of adversity. Okay, maybe adversity is not the right word for chocolate temptations...but I seem to be rising to the challenge.

Time will tell.

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Day 4

Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The candies you whistle, the whistles you eat.....yeah, yeah, whatever....still not chocolate.

I've been working to fill my daily choco void with healthy sweets. I've got a solid supply of SoyJoy bars, Special K Treats, Pria Vanilla Yogurt bars, Jenny Lemon Cakes, fresh berries, and WW Carrot Cake Bites.

All give me a nice temporary fix, but I still end up looking for my chocofriend when I'm done.

Day 3

Two Hershey's Dark Chocolate Minatures after lunch and my Jenny Craig dessert in the evening - that was my diet secret. I never gave up chocolate in my diet and I still lost 28 lbs. I lost weight by eating correctly, exercising and learning the magical art of portion control. I discovered, much to my own amazement that I did have the ability to eat just two small chocolates and not the whole bowl. That was until ...I made my "goal weight."

Yeah, goal = kiss of death.

At goal, I figured I could add a little more chocolate in each day...notsomuch a realistic expectation. In the month after making my goal, the weight started to creep back and the old reasons for eating chocolate resurfaced. I was upset about starting to gain weight, so what did I do? Ate more chocolate, of course.

I admit that I will never live a completely chocofree existence...who would want too? I know I'm not cut out to be one of those people (I hear they exist) who never eats sweets. What I need to learn is how chocolate can find a healthy place in my long term diet.

Day 2

I did it! Day one accomplished. I'm into day two feeling like maybe I can handle my 21 day challenge. I've spent the last year obsessing about food and even lost over 20 lbs...all this without giving up chocolate.

Cocofree living is a symbol of my quest to figure out how to challenge and improve the inner me. It's not really about the chocolate at all.

Zee....my darling 11 year old. He loves his sweets as much as dear ol' mom. He also loves to bake and yes, he choose this week to bake a chocolate cake. I love that he was completely independent in his decision to bake for the family, he almost did all the clean up himself too. So it was especially difficult when he offered up a piece of cake for me and said "here mommy, you have to taste this" on my very first day of chocofree living. I admit to a little white lie when I said I had already had a piece and it was delish.

So I dodged a bullet with only minor mommy guilt...certainly not as much angst as I would have experienced giving in to chocolate on the very first day.

Day 1

Yesterday, Oprah said she was going to do a 21 day "cleanse." It got me thinking about the simplicity of making a change in my life for just 21 days. Just 3 short weeks, I should be able to accomplish something, for three weeks, right? Now, of course, knowing my personal limitations I'm not ready to do anything drastic like giving up animal products or bread - but I do think I can choose a little change to make in my life for just 21 days at a time.

Here I go with day one. I haven't considered what might happen if I "fail" on my 21 day quest. The world won't end, my bank account balance will not change in the slightest. But maybe just maybe, if I can achieve something little I can be just a bit more positive about bigger changes that loom ahead. I'm just gonna jump in and see what I can do if I blog this and try to stick to it.

My first 21 day mission is to give up chocolate. YIKES! I actually wrote that down, in ink, in permanent existence. Can I really give up my love for 3 weeks? It's 7:40 in the morning of day one...so far so good.

Stay tuned.